no way out

how .... how can i overcome what i have not earned? I am standing at the dawn of a new day and it burns my eyes to see it. I found what i wanted but it hurts to hold it .The inadequacies that bind my mind are many. The fear is real, the pain is coming . Its a pending time bomb thats just going to hurt worse the longer it takes to explode. I want to stop the dream right now and get back to misery. I need to ground my jet, calm the storm.

though if this .....

Never have I thought of tonight . Never in the passing . When my hands look old but my face doesn't . Who could fall for this ? Long has been the days. Dirt poor and loving life. Thinking of the hour not the day. The sooner it is the better I understand it . Fear grips me, holds me down , just another excuse for not getting it done. Fires that burned smolder into ash, Feelings we had, none have lasted. Low ? I am not sure . If I am not then I probably am . Confusion is mine , fear is what compels me . What is the right answer ?