anytime

anytime....that's what we say .... anytime
it seems all is thrown away in a second
anytime....
tired of it all ... ready to let it go
the pressure grows every moment
your mind wanders ....drifts ...shifting with the tide
hard to position yourself against the pull
anytime.... that's what we say..
anytime
creeping in while we sleep ...
anytime
tired of the pressure mounting
anytime that's what I say

what do you think ? that somehow you will be just walking down the street and it will happen ? that it will be clear to you about how it had to be and that all the events from that day to the next were for a reason that brought you to that moment .... that every pain you felt, that the despair that creeps over you while you are in bed at night was a mirage and is gone ..... that somehow it was meant to be that there is is this grandiose scheme being played out with you as a pawn in the middle .... is that what you think ??? is that how its going to be ??? how long to do you go on with it .... not voicing , not speaking and certainly not feeling like you are in it ??? when does it come time to be alive? at what point is reality going to set in ... alone ... together but alone .... not feeling ... certainly not believing .... fingers cant keep up with the struggle ..... the angst inside... perception is you reality ... and somehow ..... just somehow ...that the clouds will part the sun will shine and then it will come back ... but then what ?? where will you be ?? what will you be ??? this all matters for not ! cause the root of your demons cannot be solved by beauty or a smile .... not attitude or swank ..... cause in the end your alone .... and alone is where your problems are .... clutter in your mind and life, a time for passing is coming ..the storm on the horizon is drifting away into the gray ..... dull long and dreary ..... shapeless and lacking ....it sucks you in ...pulls ...easy at first .. unbearable not long there after ...... fair ??? whats fair .... and if you act now ........where do you stand ..and if you act now who do you care for ..... do you care for yourself .. things are fine but there not .... things are strong but there not ......desperation from the clasp of life is your trial .... no way to escape.... age creeps in but you feel the same .... a number .... your mind is fresh ... your mind is young .... talk .... talk, you have talked all your life and still find confusion where you need clarity ..... what can be done has been what can be changed hasn't .. what hasn't been changed has been .... laws and codes are nothing ..... time and patience is wasted ... what to do and who to do it too ??? somehow ...someway .... there is a answer out there.....

Finally Found

if it was to be .... how could it end....if it was to be said, how could it be hummed
singing dancing .... wondering ...if It could be ... if could not see..... but then again ... its not how you feel ... its the shadow on the wall the shimmer in your eye......
wondering.....where the power ....the power was
one step forward .. on step back .... every thing could be ....could be ,,, the one.... but .. then again you never know what could be the thought of it all....
Tuesday night in the spring.......when the frost still lingers.... the cold still bites ..............you feel the shiver

the cold running down .....
running over you
.......finally found ..?....







what else can you feel ?




what else can you feel ????


why???



ask me, wisper why ?



ask me !!!





that is it ! .....

All hail the wolf !

If you need to Laugh then just follow the link

Best Term ever

ok Urban Dictinary is new to me and I cant seem to get enough of it !

Best new term I have heard in a month is Inbox Rot ! ... we all have done it but now ? now its got a name ! Here is the definition of it Inbox rot

Hastily Waiting for You

waiting it out.... thinking ...slowly.....wondering .... that if you made any choices at all..?
who could answer these ? who could we have called ? you wonder .. at the choices of it all..... you want to...... to wallow........ revel.... in the misery of it all..... soak it up.....
sweep the plate....streaks, staining ..... you
....wondering



waiting it out, thinking hastily wondering that if you made any choices at all .....
I know ...... you .... i know... you ............ but .... .......... . I really don't know myself ................you ......




and......it can feel a way ......but .... I don't know myself.... .but I know . you .... but I know you ......... but I don't even know ..........
myself.......myself..............



waiting it out ..........thinking .....slowly........wondering ... that is you made any choices at all.....?

who could answer these ?
who could we have called ??
you wonder .....at the choices f it all ...you want it ....
wallow ....revel......

who could we have called

as if the day wasnt long enough .... there is a rumbling in my gut that the bounds may have been overstepped ... again ... to fast ... just tryin to be nice ... and as always...to far to fast .. but ...i am not built for this modern era of wishy washy standards... i have a very unique set of things i look for and i know when i find it ... there are very few who can pick my interest and when they do ... watch out .. and thats when it all goes wrong ...standing alone in the middle of the night looking at your phone wondering where you return is ?? its not happening .. no ... its not going .. so ... as time rides the wave of emotion ... the clock slows and the seconds clunk... pounding ... crashing ...second by second...never ending ..a constant reminder of what is ... what it will be ... and where you are going .. which by the looks of it ... you will be going alone.... its time for some suffering ...time .... to realize that ...after all of your selfishness ...all you preconceived notions of glory... your delusions of grandeur ...that you really are alone... you really are not sure of what is coming ... only that ...you have no control... over any of it ... none... how can it be....that after all there years that .... you are still you ... and the rules ...well they are the same but for some reason .. you cant seem to work within them ... but that's always been the case hasn't it ... thinking that it doesn't apply to me ... that you can wiggle your way through .....that .... no matter what .......well my friends those days have come and the sun has set ...in the cold crisp night air ....its there ..pushing you ...even though you are alone... its telling you even though its silent .........as i struggle to move... to breathe.... to feel ... drained washed and exhausted ....from the fight in my head... what to do ?? never could have it worked... never, yet you still fought ... changed forever .....thinking that is what its suppose to be ... anytime that it comes ..........you fight it ... anytime it creeps and lurks in the shadows..... you see it ... and there in the darkness of the night when you are alone... it takes over....

so ...alot has changed but some things remain .... I wonder how it could be ? I fall into a pattern . I fall.. sometimes I feel like I fail..There is a cloud that's coming ...closing in casting its dull gray shadow over the playing field. Darkness will follow ... in the depths of despair you must find strength to carry the torch . to get up ... to rise.. and stand. there is a day ... a day that .......its coming ... the hooks will be removed ... forced out slow unyielding pressure .....its the only way to true success .... success .... it escapes my grasp in all aspects of my life ... wells up .. and waters.... ther was a time when it was cleaner ... fresher ... more....... but the dull drain .. the rhythms of the world have taken there toll... when will you know true ....truth ..... when .. will it add .... and come across clear on the ledger .. not now..... not tonight .... not tonight ... when the smartest thing said was from a cookie