as if the day wasnt long enough .... there is a rumbling in my gut that the bounds may have been overstepped ... again ... to fast ... just tryin to be nice ... and as always...to far to fast .. but ...i am not built for this modern era of wishy washy standards... i have a very unique set of things i look for and i know when i find it ... there are very few who can pick my interest and when they do ... watch out .. and thats when it all goes wrong ...standing alone in the middle of the night looking at your phone wondering where you return is ?? its not happening .. no ... its not going .. so ... as time rides the wave of emotion ... the clock slows and the seconds clunk... pounding ... crashing ...second by second...never ending ..a constant reminder of what is ... what it will be ... and where you are going .. which by the looks of it ... you will be going alone.... its time for some suffering ...time .... to realize that ...after all of your selfishness ...all you preconceived notions of glory... your delusions of grandeur ...that you really are alone... you really are not sure of what is coming ... only that ...you have no control... over any of it ... none... how can it be....that after all there years that .... you are still you ... and the rules ...well they are the same but for some reason .. you cant seem to work within them ... but that's always been the case hasn't it ... thinking that it doesn't apply to me ... that you can wiggle your way through .....that .... no matter what .......well my friends those days have come and the sun has set ...in the cold crisp night air ....its there ..pushing you ...even though you are alone... its telling you even though its silent .........as i struggle to move... to breathe.... to feel ... drained washed and exhausted ....from the fight in my head... what to do ?? never could have it worked... never, yet you still fought ... changed forever .....thinking that is what its suppose to be ... anytime that it comes ..........you fight it ... anytime it creeps and lurks in the shadows..... you see it ... and there in the darkness of the night when you are alone... it takes over....