ANSAN

That my friends is the matter of the facts..the pie in the sky that you have been holding onto. Sure there are arguments about the spice of life. I know that you can come up with a dozen honorable things to prove me wrong as I stated ANSAN which in short stands for Aint Nothing Special About Nothing is true. I have been wrestling with this for about 6 years now. The seeds of this were planted along time before that in my cynical twisted little mind. I am, as we all our, trapped in our minds.When I say ansan I mean today . Right now. For me . The realization of the answer was just as opening as the answer itself. There has been years of research and countless hours of deep concentration. Long days on the road alone. Nights in my bed when I wished I was alone. Blankly pressing into the present. ansan was tough for me to admit. I cannot say all is lost. There are plenty of good things. There are a few great things . But something special I have not found. You see Special is a personal point of view. Greatness can be debated. Good is obvious. Special.. well ..Special is different...it seems to require something I cannot grasp