what ?

every time it comes ... and every time it goes...We stand at the entrance waiting to take that step .. but fear holds us back... stops us from enjoying the moment. We wonder aloud to ourselves.. how long will this last. How long will the ride be ? Its hard to forget about the past. Its harder to not let it effect your judgment. We forget that its the ride that counts not the destination. Life as you see it is not life as it is. Long has been the struggle to just enjoy what is and not ponder what was or what will be. Easier said than done though. Easier said than done. How many conversations with myself must I have. How many times do i need to put the brakes on. When ...when can i hit the gas ? I look back and all I see it a trail of sorrow left in my wake. This world is what we make of it. The gas pedal should be avoided at all costs.. but somehow .... there is a desire to burn inside.. a yearning to be complete. The gas pedal will be pressed and it will be pressed hard. If you fail you fail.... it has happened before ..and it will happen again.This is a fact .. but when fear and despair wash over you, when cold and sorrow knock on the door. When all the lights have went out and the house is quiet and still. In the dead of the night, just as you cant sleep ..
then it hits you ..
then you understand ...
you were alone before ..
you will be alone again..
you will die alone ...
but the journey the journey must be taken